Fullmetal Freakout
by departedsoul13
Summary: Amestris, home of everyone's beloved Fullmetal Alchemist. Amestris, weirdest land of all. With Edward's penchant for trouble, Al's tendency to pick up stray cats, Roy's melodramatics, Hawkeye's guns, and all the other craziness of the Fullmetal Cast, what can one even expect? From anger-management classes and superheroes to stalking and commercials, this is the real Fullmetal Life.


**Fullmetal Freakout**

Let the chaos begin.

* * *

** Today's Headline:** _An Amestrian Superhero?!_

* * *

A scream broke through the tranquil morning air. All heads turned towards the source.

"My purse!" A masked man dashed away from the distressed woman, a purse in hand.

"Another one?"

"Agh. It's too early for robberies...C'mon, Al." The blond boy swung out of his chair and stretched, his red cloak fluttering in the slight breeze. Across the table from him, a large suit of armor rose as well, pushing his chair in and facing the direction of the scream.

"He should be here any second." Alphonse Elric noted, looking down the street where the scream originated. "All the alleyways are blocked off around here, everybody knows that." Edward stood on his tip-toes, finishing his stretch.

"Alright, let's get going." The Elrics sauntered into the street and watched for the burglar. "You can have him this time, Al."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go for it." With that, Alphonse, the suit of armor, bent down to the ground and began drawing a transmutation circle with a small piece of chalk. "Here he comes, Al." The suit of armor stood up to see a man donning a ski mask come running down the street right their way.

"Here we go." Alphonse clapped his hands and the chalk circle glowed. Suddenly, the earth cracked and tore apart right in the man's path.

"Ah! What the-?"

"Good job, Al. Let's go." Edward turned, beginning to leave.

"Wait!" The blond stopped and spun around at the sound of his brother's protest. Chunks of the street were being tossed aside. From underneath them, the burglar, still clutching the purse, emerged.

"How did he-"

"Brother, look out!" Edward immediately jumped out of the way and skidded to a halt on the undamaged ground behind him. Where he stood was now covered by a large chunk of street rubble.

"Why you!" Ed bolted down the ruined street, jumping over the exposed areas, and bee-lined for the burglar. The man grinned and rolled up his sleeves. Ed narrowed his eyes. Automail. The burglar ran towards Ed as well. Unfortunately for him, the State Alchemist had the upper hand. Besides also wearing automail, he could use alchemy like his brother. Ed kicked the man in the stomach, appearing almost spontaneously before him. Trying to stay up, the burglar quickly grasped at Edward to keep him up. The teen stumbled forward, his hood covering his head as he tripped. "Oh no you don't!" Ed quickly caught his footing and punched the man in the face, sending him off for sure. Down on the ground, the thief groaned and Edward clapped his hands. A glow manifested only to fade away, revealing the burglar in a cell which alchemically appeared.

"Ha! Well I still have the purse!" Gloated the thief as he looked at his shoulder while reaching for the bag. His jaw dropped. "What? Where is it?!"

"Over here! I think this is yours, right, Ma'am?" On the other side of the street Alphonse returned the purse he swiped from the burglar when he fell to the previously distressed woman.

"Oh thank you! Whoever you two are!" She gushed, looking back and forth between the two brothers.

"They're superheroes!" Yelled an excited little boy, rushing towards the Elrics.

"Oh, no, we're not-"

"Superheroes who cause more damage than good..."Mumbled a shopkeeper as he surveyed the road.

"Right, I'll fix that." Ed clapped his hands and after the glow disappeared, the street stood solid, good as new. The shopkeeper whistled.

"Well I'll be...Alchemists who are for the people! And here in Central nonetheless!"

"They really are superheroes!" Chimed someone in the crowd. Suddenly the rest of the crowd caught on.

"They must be, that's why that one's in armor and the other's face is masked!"

"Wow, so cool!"

"Mom, I wanna do that too!" Ed and Al looked around them, surrounded by the crowd's growing assumption.

"No...Didn't you hear me? We're not-"A clang captured Al's attention and he looked down to see Edward.

"Just let 'em keep it going, huh? It's not like it'll do any harm. It's better than them knowing the Fullmetal Alchemist was here wrecking things and word getting to Mustang." Alphonse looked back at the genuinely happy crowd.

"Alright..." The two turned to leave only for a tug on Ed's cloak to stop them. They turned around. Behind Ed, clutching his cloak, stood the little boy who had hurried forward earlier.

"Hey, misters, what are your names?"

"Our names?" Repeated Ed, a bit caught off guard. The boy's eyes sparkled.

"Yeah, like your superhero names! Don't worry, I won't ask for your real names. That way bad guys can't find you!" The little boy added in a whisper. Ed and Al exchanged a glance. Suddenly Ed clapped and the two were on a pedestal high above the crowd.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Hissed Alphonse.

"Quick, think up some hero names for us!" Ordered Ed before he turned to the people below him. "Good people of Central City!" He yelled. "I thank you for your patience and am glad that you are all safe! You have nothing to fear, as the streets of Central are now under the protection of not only the military, whose power is useless and spread far too thin, but by the duo of brothers who use alchemy for the people!" The crowd cheered.

"So what are your names?" Squealed the little boy, jumping up and down in excitement. Ed looked at Al.

"Well? What are our names?!" Demanded Ed in a whisper.

"Uh...Uh..."The teen armor fidgeted and looked from Edward to the crowd below. Finally, he stood up straight and addressed the crowd in a loud voice. "Citizens of Amestris, never fear! For I give you, the Red Alchemist!" He announced, gesturing to Edward who waved.

"And at my side, my loyal younger brother- the Armored Alchemist!" Alphonse waved as well and the crowd cheered even louder. "Now, my good people, we must be off! To protect Central City!" With a dramatic woosh of his cloak, Edward clapped his hands and created more columns which increased in height. The boys quickly hopped up their makeshift staircase, landed on a roof, and cancelled the transmutation. The townspeople watched the columns and pedestal disappear. When they looked back to the roof, the Elric brothers were gone.

* * *

"The Red Alchemist? Seriously, Al, where'd you get that from?"

"I don't know! It was hard! You're wearing a red cloak and are an alchemist! You try coming up with a name so short-notice! And how about the 'Armored Alchemist,' huh? Not the most original name!" Ed laughed as the two journeyed through the alleyways. From the street entering was prohibited but the alleys were still open in the back.

"Well, whatever. We got out of there and everybody's happy. Let's head back to our hotel. I have some notes we can review that I got from the library." Edward flipped his hood off and continued on his way. It was afternoon by the time they reached their lodgings. The two alchemists spend the rest of that day in their room. In the morning, after getting ready, the boys headed out.

"Hey, you two, have you heard about this?" The man at the front desk asked, holding up the morning newspaper. Alphonse grabbed it and skimmed the cover.

"Brother!" He showed it to Edward who groaned.

"Oh brother...'Central City's Newest Heroes: The Red Alchemist and the Armored Alchemist- Here to Protect Amestris!' Man, that's one bold title..."Alphonse handed the paper back to the man at the front desk, who smiled.

"Sounds interesting, huh? I figured maybe you two could try tracking them down and see if they have any good alchemy leads. Maybe you can chat with another armor collector too." He added to Alphonse who uneasily laughed before declining a meeting and thanking the man for his information.

"What a drag, so we're actually expected to guard this city?" Complained Edward as they headed towards the library.

"Brother, it's your own fault, you know. You said that we'd protect the city!"

"I was kidding! It was just a stunt-you know. Not like I wanted Mustang to hear what we did."

"So what do we do now?"

"Nothing! It's not like anyone actually expects the alchemist duo to really protect the city." Edward continued on towards the library with his usual eagerness, but Alphonse began to lag a bit, guilt manifest in his mind.

* * *

It was a regular morning when Colonel Mustang entered his office only to be greeted by the sound of Havoc's wild laughter. The man was in stitches at his desk, howling away like a hyena, clutching the newspaper unsteadily before him and surrounded by the rest of Mustang's subordinates- Hawkeye included. Upon seeing this spectacle and noting that even the usually stoic and disinterested Lt. Hawkeye was taking part, the Flame Alchemist couldn't help but wander over to the group.

"Morning, Colonel." Greeted Breda with a grin from behind Havoc's shoulder.

"Morning, Second Lieutenant. May I ask what's so funny in the paper this morning?" Breda chuckled and looked back at the paper which had been yanked from Havoc's wild grasp and placed on his desk, all attempts to flatten out the wrinkles and crinkles failing. Mustang surveyed his men. Havoc was dying, Breda chuckling, Falman smiling and reading with interest, Fuery looking amused and beaming with knowledge, and Hawkeye...Hawkeye was...smiling? Roy blinked and stared at Riza. It was an obvious smile, not even one of her small hidden ones. Like Kain, she seemed to not be surprised at the news. Roy turned to face the paper, staring it down. What was so funny? Was it about him? Armstrong? Did Hughes send Elysia pictures to the Central Cadet yet again and finally get them approved? In an instant the colonel seized the paper and scanned the headlines.

He groaned only to laugh a few moments later, letting a smirk appear on his face.

"You're not going to punish them, are you, sir?" Falman asked. The rest of his staff looked at him expectantly.

"Oh no." He said, a mischievous tone in his voice. "I'm going to make sure they see this through 'til the very end." Roy put the paper down and started for the door. "Lieutenant." Riza started after him.

"The car, I assume?"

"You know me too well."

* * *

Meanwhile, things at the Central Library weren't much different from the norm. A few things, however, were quite new to the brothers, and to Edward, quite annoying.

"Do you guys know the superhero alchemists? One wears a suit of armor just like you!"

"Are you a fan of his, too?" Little children swarmed around Alphonse, paying the cloakless Edward no mind. Despite that fact, the children still distracted Edward from focusing on his studies and communicating with Alphonse.

"Hey, Al, are you done playing yet?" Asked Edward, growing more and more impatient.

"Um, one second! Hey, sorry, guys, but I really have to go now! My big brother needs me for something!"

"No! Play with us!"

"Mr. Armored Alchemist! Please play!" Alphonse groaned.

"Aw...What do I do?" He wondered aloud. Suddenly Ed jumped from his seat, startling the children.

"Hey...Was that the Red Alchemist over there? It's gotta be him! And is that the Fuhrer he's with?!"

"Where? Where?" The little children immediately rushed over to where Ed was pointing, abandoning Alphonse, who sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Brother." Ed sat back down and picked up his pencil.

"No problem, at least those noisy little brats are gone."

"Who's little now, Fullmetal?"The pencil snapped between Ed's fingers and he shook with anger.

"Grrr...Mustang, what do you want?" He yelled, looking up at his Commanding Officer. Behind the man stood First Lt. Riza Hawkeye.

"Calm down, Fullmetal. This is a library after all. Let's go outside to discuss this." The boys looked at each other and followed Mustang out of the building and onto the steps.

"What?" Ed asked in his hostile manner. "We don't have time to pick up your filthy laundry or your HIV medication if that's what you're asking."

"I'll ignore that remark for now, Fullmetal. Or should I say the 'Red Alchemist?'" Mustang smirked as he pulled the morning newspaper out of his coat. Ed glared.

"You're kidding me. What makes you think it was us?" Roy's smirk dropped and a look of obviousness took its place.

"Oh right. I forgot how many alchemist brothers wearing suits of armor and red cloaks there are traveling around these days."

"Alright, alright, I get your point already. So what's it to ya?" Roy smiled in an ominous way.

"Why, Mr. Red Alchemist, you already know! Your duty is to protect this town, isn't it?" Ed's face fell.

"You're kidding me..."Roy's smile stayed plastered on his face. Oh...that flamey prick was enjoying this! "You seriously want Al and I to protect this city as a bunch of made up superheroes?!"Yelled Edward.

"Now, Edward, I thought you'd be pleased to hear this. It's much more exciting than inspecting some town or researching hours of notes in a stuffy library. And anyways, you could boost Central's morale with this act." The brothers focused on Roy with suspicious looks.

"Of course...I knew it! You're just going to use this superhero thing to boost your own rep!"

"Why would you say that?"

"That's what you do everything for! But I'd like to know how exactly you're going to get us to help you. What? Proclaim: "We work for the great and powerful Flame Alchemist! Without the inspiration of that man, we'd never be where we are today?" Roy rubbed his chin in thought.

"Actually...that's pretty good. I think we'll go with-"

"Hold on! You can't make us do this anyway! Al and I can't be forced into protecting Central as some made-up-"

"Oh right...However did Al get to be this way?" Mustang feigned as he tapped Al's empty armor. Edward fumed.

"You jackass, just for this you'd expose Alphonse?" Roy smiled.

"All's fair in love, war, and politics, Fullmetal. Ah, I mean 'Red Alchemist.'" Edward glared at him once more.

"Sir, with all due respect, I'm curious at how this is going to help your reputation in Central." Hawkeye remarked. Roy grinned triumphantly.

"Well you see, if the boys aren't cheering my name around, I guess I'll have to be their superhero informant!" The trio stared at Roy who was radiating flamboyance.

"I'm sorry?" Riza asked.

"You see, the boys will need to hear about the bad guys from somewhere. That's where I come in!" The Elrics groaned and Hawkeye shook her head. "I'm the boys' informant! Without me, they wouldn't be able to protect Central! The backstory is that I saved these two one day and inspired them to become heroic alchemists. I now supervise them from my position in the military."

"Colonel, please stop daydreaming."

"Come now, Hawkeye, this plan is amazing!" The woman shook her head.

"Either way, getting your name out there will be hard." Roy went back to his ponderings. While he did this, the Elrics darted back into the library.

"He's insane!"

"The colonel's always been a visionary..."

"This isn't visionary! It's crazy! What is he, five?" Ed angrily sat back down in front of his notes.

"Don't worry, Brother, we'll work this out somehow."

"We'd better..."

* * *

As the boys walked home in the retreating light of the sun, an alarm rang out followed by screams and shouts.

"Wonder what's going on." Alphonse said as the boys faced the origin of the panic. It was a ways off, but they could easily guess.

"Looks like it's coming from Central Bank. Musta been robbed or somethin'."Ed noted.

"From the sound of things it sounds like the robbery's still going on. Should we help out?"

"Nah, the MPs got it." Nevertheless, the boys waited around for a while, the panic continuing.

"Are you sure?" Ed's expression fell a bit.

"Not really..."As the boys started for the bank, Alphonse stopped.

"Oh, Brother! We should don our disguises!"

"What? Are you kidding me? Enough of that superhero stuff already! If we save this bank as them, then Central will really believe that we're here to protect them!"

"But listen!" The boys were silent. In the distant, cries could be heard.

"Where're the alchemist brothers?"

"Please save us!"

"Mr. Alchemists, help! My husband's inside!"

"Don't worry, the Red and Armored Alchemists will save everyone!" Ed groaned once more.

"Fine, fine. We'll go. But first we need some actual disguises..."

Inside the bank, chaos ensued.

"Gimme all the money you got, ya hear?" One burglar demanded, pointing his gun at the tied up hostages on the floor. Other gunmen were pointing their guns at the bank tellers, who were quickly stuffing bags full of cash. Another gunman patrolled the bank's front, floor-length windows. Across from the tied up hostages, a few MPs lay injured and bleeding.

"Hold it right there!" The robbers, hostages, tellers, and MPs looked around.

"Who the hell's there?" The head gunman yelled. From the rafters, a person cloaked in red jumped down, landing on the man.

"What? Never heard of the Red Alchemist?" Edward grinned and issued a thumbs up while standing on the groaning man. He wore his regular black clothes as well as a red cloak he transmuted- the hood up and over his hair. To hide his face, he transmuted a black visor with red trim.

"The Red Alchemist? He exists?" One of the gunmen exclaimed in surprise, forgetting to pay attention to the teller before him.

"I do too." The man turned around to see Alphonse who had a white strip of cloth tied around where the eyes on his helmet were and a white loincloth with black trim on him. Swiftly, Al punched the man in the face, sending him down for the count.

"B-Boss...what do we do?" Another gunman asked bewildered. The man below Edward groaned and then laughed weakly.

"Hostage time!" Ed and Al turned to the group on the floor expectantly.

"Oh no you don't!" Ed yelled, rushing towards the hostages with Al to protect them. The boss laughed louder.

"Behind you!" Yelled a tied-up man. The boys turned around but it was too late. The back of a gun roughly hit the back of Ed's head and a gang of gunmen tackled Alphonse.

* * *

When Ed woke up from being knocked out, he was tied up with Al beside him. Unfortunately for him and Al, they both were handcuffed as well. Ed tried reaching his hands together but had no luck. The wooden restraints were too far apart for his hands to meet. Alphonse was in a similar state, though his hands were bound by chains to different tied up hostages.

"Dang it, what are we gonna do now?" Whispered Ed to Al as the gunmen continued their heist.

"We'll think of something..." The boys then sat there, trying to figure a way out.

"I think we're about finished here." Announced the slightly recovered boss.

"Don't count us out yet!" Yelled Ed as he tried his restraints once more to no avail. The man laughed.

"Yeah, sure. Who's gonna help YOU out to get us? Huh?" The front doors were suddenly kicked open. Outside, MPs and others were crowded behind cement barriers. The boss looked around.

"That would be me." A man in a three-piece suit entered. His suit coat was gone and a black unbuttoned coat took its place. A white scarf was wrapped around his neck that matched his masquerade mask perfectly. He wore white gloves to add to his gentlemanly appearance.

"Who the hell are you? How'd you get in here so easily?" The boss danced around, trying to figure out how the man got in. He stopped upon seeing his man on patrol by the windows lying on the ground clutching his shoulder. "How did...?"

"My team is a strong one, I suggest you back down."

"Why should I? Are you here to rescue these idiots?" The man asked, motioning to Ed and Al. The masked man smirked.

"Of course. We're allies after all. I inspired these boys to become what they are today." Inwardly the Elrics groaned. Despite that, they had no clue what the colonel was doing or planning to do. The gunman turned to the Elrics.

"Who's he?"

"The Playboy Alchemist."

"The Philanthropist." Ed and Al looked at each other.

"Good name." They said to the other. Roy frowned.

"No, I'm the Masked-"

"He's the Orange Alchemist, OK?" A tall figure in SWAT gear said, appearing at Roy's right. From beneath his mask, Roy glared.

"Shall I ask why I'm suddenly just another alchemist?"

"It fits with the genre." Havoc replied, surveying the situation. The boss laughed.

"So I'll have defeated the Red Alchemist, the Armored Alchemist, the Orange Alchemist who, by the way, isn't wearing a shred of orange, and uh...let me guess," he turned to Havoc, "you're the Black Alchemist." Havoc shook his head.

"Naw, I'm-"

"This is my ally, Smokey." Havoc turned to Roy in anger.

"Smokey?!"He quietly hissed. Roy smirked.

"Orange?" The SWAT man groaned.

"Fair enough, let's just get this over with, OK?"

"Hold on, are you the one who shot my friend?" Asked the boss to Havoc, the other gunmen inside at their own stations. Havoc shook his head and Roy replied.

"No, no, that's our good friend the Hawk." Havoc bit back a laugh.

"That's incognito." He sarcastically spat. "I thought you wanted her to be 'Sniper Girl?'" Roy frowned.

"That does have its own charm..."

"Anyone else I need to add to my hit list?" The boss asked. Ed and Al continued to try their restraints, Al tugging the hostages closer to him all the while.

"A few, you'll see. Smokey, let's go!" Havoc groaned as the two suddenly stormed the bank. Gunshots screamed through the air. Roy pulled out his own piece and fired at a few of the men on the left, hitting them. Havoc meanwhile charged the boss as he went to the right. He dove across the floor as a few of the other gunmen shot at him. Finally he landed behind Alphonse with the hostages.

"Lieutenant Havoc-"

"SHHH!"

"Oh, sorry, Smokey! Can you get Brother and me out?" Havoc looked at Alphonse's restraints dumbfounded. Then he looked at Edward's. Then he noticed the hostages and their scared expressions.

"One sec, Armored Alch., I gotta get these guys out first while the Colonel- I mean, Orange over there, is distracting them." With that being said, Havoc whipped out a hunting knife and cut everyone's ropes off. However, Edward and two of the hostages were still bound due to handcuffs and being tied to Alphonse's chains. Havoc looked around, searching for someone.

"Techie! Monk! Secure the hostages!" Yelled Roy as he hid behind a desk for cover from gunfire. Two men in traveling cloaks ran up to the hostages and Havoc. Lo and behold, Kain Fuery and Vato Falman appeared.

"Techie, go see what you can do for the bank tellers- most of the gunmen are off of them, I'll distract the others. Monk, get these people out of here." The men nodded and Fuery dashed behind the counter while Falman led the hostages away.

"Hey! What about us?" Ed asked, banging his restraints against the floor for emphasis.

"Right. Hold still." Havoc raised his gun and bashed it down on Edward's restraints. The wood was smashed and his hands freed.

"Thanks, Smokey." Ed said as he rubbed his wrists. "Alright, now for Al- uh...the Armored Alchemist." Edward clapped his hands and the chains were broken from the hostages, who immediately ran outside. "C'mon, Al," Ed began, "we can't let the colonel get all the glory." Al nodded as he discarded the chains. Havoc was currently shooting down the remaining gunmen who were on the bank tellers. Behind the counter, Fuery was escorting the free tellers out while watching the remaining hostages. Roy was still ducked below a desk, firing about every other shot. Falman was checking on the hostages outside, taking count and other such things. And Hawkeye...Where was Hawkeye?

"Boys, get down!" Ed and Al screamed as they quick hit the floor and a series of successive shots were fired. Hawkeye, wearing her own combination of SWAT gear and casual wear, masquerade mask included, charged into the fray, shooting the men attacking the colonel.

"C'mon, Al, we're losing!" Ed clapped his hands and the floor seized up the men shooting at Havoc. Immediately, Havoc ran in and secured them while Fuery escorted the remaining tellers out. Alphonse dove in front of the colonel, blocking all fire from him. The man ran out from the desk and took his remaining shots from beside Alphonse. Now alone, the boss laughed.

"You think I'm done? I still have more men and all the money I need!" Roy smirked as Edward sealed the robber in a transmuted cage.

"You're underestimating me. There's one more ally that I've got." The man's eyes widened. At that moment, Breda walked in wearing a buttoned up overcoat and a bandana around his mouth. He dragged along a few tied up, bleeding men: the remaining bank robbers who were planning on escaping.

"Why'd I get the boring part?" He asked the colonel idly. Roy smirked.

"Boring but necessary, Straw." Ed choked a laugh.

"Straw?"

"I'm guessing it's from 'Heymans.'" Havoc said, now loitering near the boys as the bank was secured.

"Good job, team!" Roy yelled, giving them a thumbs up. Ed fumed and the soldiers sighed. Their boss was a lunatic.

* * *

The alchemists and soldiers emerged from the bank unscathed. As they left, MPs swarmed the inside to secure the robbers. To everyone's surprise, Fuhrer President King Bradley was standing before them amidst the crowd.

"Good job, Colonel. Oops, I mean...what is your name? The Orange Alchemist, I hear?" The man asked, motioning to one of the hostages who informed him of this earlier. Roy fidgeted. Crap. He hadn't expected to get caught, especially not by the Fuhrer himself. "Same to you Red Alchemist, Armored Alchemist." The Fuhrer nodded at the brothers. "And Team Orange, good job to you all as well." Fortunately they were disguised, but Team Mustang looked downright ashamed and embarrassed.

"Thank you, sir." Roy said. Bradley nodded.

"I appreciate your efforts, but try looking elsewhere for a city that needs protection. We're got all the most talented soldiers and State Alchemists here in Central." Added Bradley with a smile. The superheroes all nervously laughed. Fuhrer talk for thanks for your help but get back to work. The superheroes nodded and ran off, trying to be mysterious and hero-like but all failing.

Everyone met up at Central HQ in their normal attire.

"What was that for, Mustang?" Edward demanded.

"You're lucky we came, you two were in a sticky situation."

"Actually, Colonel, I agree with him. What the heck WAS that for? I'm a grown man, I don't need to be parading about Central City as a superhero." Havoc remarked.

"At least the Fuhrer didn't court-martial us..."

"Yet." Falman replied to Fuery.

"Anyways, I think that worked out nicely."

"How? How in the world did that work out 'nicely,' Mustang?"

"Well the Fuhrer saw it, didn't he? He now knows what lengths I'd go to for keeping this city safe."

"More like for getting a promotion." The door suddenly slammed open. In entered Major Armstrong and Hughes.

"Hey, Roy! Was that you and everyone else out there playing superhero? Why didn't you invite me? Elysia would have loved to see her daddy in a superhero costume!"

"I, too, would have enjoyed engaging in a manly battle with the enemy! Protecting the good people with my valiant acts! The very same that have been passed down through my family line for generations!" Roy groaned. Of course, he should have expected these two in... He turned to address the Elrics to take care of them, but the boys were gone.

"They're getting smarter, Sir." Havoc said grinning and puffing smoke.

"Unfortunately..."Grumbled Roy as the two men before him continued their badgering. He frowned as Hughes and Armstrong continued their dramatics, tears and photos landing on the floor all the while. A sigh and the colonel turned around in his chair and leaned back, ready for a nap filled with superhero dreams and valiant acts. He smirked a bit. If only.

* * *

Oh, Roy, you're so silly. And a bit arrogant and needy. Isn't being the Hero of Ishbal enough?

Anyways, thanks a lot for reading! This was actually the second "chapter" I wrote but it's way better than the first one. I write these when I'm procrastinating from my homework...so yeah...not really any designated time for 'em. I'll be blunt (and probably reader damaging): Don't expect me to update this all the time. It's just a muse I decided to post for the world. OK, now I sound arrogant. Thanks, Roy! But yeah, unless this gets pretty good traffic/ reviews, I probably won't sweat it like my other stories.

And on that note...Some shameless updating/ advertising!

For those of you reading either "The Ouran Pokémon Trainers" (an OHSHC fic) or "Sad Clouds and Treasonous Shadows" (a Naruto fanfic), they're at the top of my list for updating! I'm working on them too, but I'm also doing scholarships and applying for colleges. GROAN. This is terrible.

OK, thanks for your time! Please review if you'd like- it'd help me on writing and motivation, not to mention fill my inbox with mail that's NOT from some college trying to get me to go across the country and to apply apply apply apply for scholarships and jack. Woo...No bueno!

I'd like to tell you next time's chapter but I might come up with a new chap that I want to post so uh...yeah. Anyways, chapter one was originally Roy Mustang taking anger management classes. Yay! I think I'll extend that one for a few recurring chaps too.

Alright, thanks again! Keep on writing!


End file.
